Pleasureful

Tag: psychology

  • Oh, I Just Manifested It!

    Oh, I Just Manifested It!

    I first came across the art of manifestation when I started listening to more podcasts and reading more ‘self-help’ books. However, there was one novel in particular that really pushed me over the edge when it comes to believing in myself and the universe, and that was ‘How to be a Badass’ by Jen Sincero. Let me tell you, I definitely learned how to be a bit more badass-y after finishing this book. Jen talks about letting the universe know what it is you want by speaking it into existence.

    If you want to manifest your dreams into reality, you can’t just want it to happen, you have to believe it’s going to happen. Let me give you an example…

    I went for an interview a few months ago for a job that I knew was exactly what I’d been looking for as a step in the right direction for my future career. I’d had no experience in the industry before, and I had only worked one other office job previously, which was my business administration apprenticeship. But I walked into that interview knowing I had the skills and personality that they were looking for to fill the role. I walked out of that first interview feeling good, giving no energy to worrying about the outcome.

    A little while after, I was invited back for a second interview along with two other candidates. Now, this second interview is what really made me realise ‘this is my job’. I had never had such a good feeling from an interview before, and there was no way I wasn’t going to be working for this company within the next few weeks. But instead of walking out and thinking ‘wow, I really hope I get that job, I’ll be so disappointed if I don’t get it, I think I did enough to impress them’, I changed my thinking into ‘I can’t wait to start this new job, I’m so excited for this new opportunity, that interview went perfectly’. Even if when my mum would say that she hoped I would get it, I responded with the belief that, actually, it was already mine.

    I’ve been working here for over a month now.

    I gave no energy to worrying about the possibility of it not happening, because in my mind that wasn’t a possibility. I made sure not to use any negative language that the universe could have taken to mean something else. When putting something out for the universe to hear, you need to be concise. For example, instead of manifesting ‘By this time next year my bank account will not be empty’, use a phrase more like ‘By this time next year my bank account will be full and healthy/will have X amount of money in it’. See, the universe will hear the word ‘empty’ and may misunderstand what it is you are wanting. Try not to give out mixed signals.

    So, how do you create your own manifesto? Picture where you want to be in the future. This could be in a years’ time or even 10 years from now, it’s up to you. The more specific you are the better. Let’s say you’re wanting to move out; Where are you living? Are you in a house or a flat? Are you renting or paying a mortgage? Do you live alone? With a partner? Roommates? Do you live close to work? Do you have a garden? Is there a pet running around inside? Are you friendly with your neighbours? What colour are the f**king walls?

    Write it all down and read it back often. Be excited that this is what you are working towards. This is your future that you are looking forward to.

    To give you some ideas, here’s a brief manifesto of my own:

    • By the end of next year (2021) I will have a distinction in my digital marketing course, have completed my apprenticeship and be working in a higher position marketing job, earning X amount of money per annum.
    • By the end of next year, I will be getting an average of 100 views per blog post on Currently Clueless. Thanks to my experience gained from my apprentice job, my WordPress skills will have vastly improved; I will apply these skills not only to my own site but for future job roles.
    • By the time I am 24 years old, I will be preparing to move out and purchase my own property to live in by myself.

    You get the idea. You might think I’m crazy or unrealistic, and that’s just fine. It’s not for everybody and trust me I know how hard it is to get into this sort of positive mindset. But just think, how’s the universe supposed to give you what you want if you don’t tell it? Speak up – the only risk is being heard.

  • Finding Your Brave

    In case you were not aware, this week has been dubbed Children’s Mental Health Week by the charity known as Place2Be, a UK organization who have been working with students, families and staff to provide young people with support through one-to-one and group counselling in schools. The campaign’s website states that ‘around three children in every primary school class has a mental health problem, and many more struggle with challenges from bullying to bereavement’.

    The statistics don’t shock me in the slightest, as I remember having my own struggles with my mental wellbeing as early as around 9 years old. From a young age I suffered with issues surrounding body image. There were times that I really believed that I was insane because of some of the thoughts I had – I hated myself and I wasn’t even a teenager yet. I can’t imagine how many children now go through this same struggle to an even higher extent with social media being so prominent in our lives (sorry to sound your grandma, but you know it’s true). 

    We had no education in mental health. No one told me that my mind could get sick. I’m relieved that we are finally getting to a place where we can normalise talking about the struggles we may be facing mentally, encouraging children to feel more comfortable to speak up when they need help. 

    No child should feel like they must suffer in silence; keeping it to themselves will only ever lead to having to fix the damage that was done in their childhood when they are adults. No one wants to be paying £70 an hour to sit in a therapists office to figure out that the reason they have self-esteem issues because when they were 5 people would always refer to their best friend Jenny as the pretty one and them as the funny one. 

    Best to resolve those issues when they arise, rather than repressing them until you have that inevitable mental breakdown in your 20s, don’t you think?

    The theme that was chosen for this week is ‘Find your Brave’ – it’s all about encouraging young people (I mean let’s face it, us adults need some help in this area too) to feel comfortable in their own skin, own who they are and be confident with it. 

    But being brave does not mean having to cope with everything alone. Being brave means asking for help, talking about how you are feeling and the parts of life that are getting to you. Up until recently, the thought of having to really admit what was going on in my brain to others made me feel physically nauseous. But, at nearly 20 years old, I am so proud of myself for being at a point where I have normalised having these conversations and I’m not ashamed to admit that I’m not okay.

    Talking about mental health with my friends and family now comes as easily to me as talking about what I’m having for lunch. I wouldn’t be embarrassed of having a cold, so why should I be embarrassed to be in state of anxiety or depression? 

    I just hope that children today come to understand this a lot quicker than I did. But guess what? They won’t learn how to be brave and talk about their struggles unless we give them the support to do so. They won’t know that it’s okay unless we tell them that it is. Let the boys cry, tell the girls it’s okay to be angry if that’s what they feel!

    As adults, we all have a responsibility to make sure kids feel safe. Emotions can get confusing and scary for grown-ups, let alone for children. If you’re overwhelmed by whatever’s going on at home, how must your kid feel? Ask them, and then ask them again in a few days, and then check up again in a week.

    It’s not just about starting the conversation; it’s about keeping it going. 

    If you want to find out more about Children’s Mental Health Week and how you can get involved, visit the website https://www.childrensmentalhealthweek.org.uk/about-the-week/ for more information.

  • Why do we need friends?

    Friendship is one of the most important things in the world to me. In my opinion, it’s more important to have strong friendships than it is to have a romantic relationship with someone. Maybe that’s just me. But I’ve recently been thinking, why do we go about creating these bonds with seemingly random people who we are neither related to nor do we wish to reproduce with them?

    Well, it turns out that us humans aren’t the only animals on the planet who do this. Being around our friends releases all those sweet, sweet chemicals in our brain such as dopamine, serotonin and oxytocin – this is the same for other animal species as well as just us humans. What happens in our brains when we interact with other humans can actually extend our life expectancy and lower the risk of heart disease. The release of these chemicals also causes us to behave in a certain way, motivating us to do the things that are good for us, relieving our stress and making us want to be friendlier more often. In short, friends make us less of an arse – both to ourselves and others.

    Like with most things, I guess it started with evolution. We needed that bond with other members of the pack who weren’t our relatives because we needed that support from others when it came to confrontation, hunting etc. This translates into our modern day selves, as we often use our friends as a support system, although this is now more so for emotional needs rather than protection or to back you up in a fight; I guess it depends on what kind of nights out you have.

    Our friends, along with family and others we invite into our lives (and some who we might prefer to stay out), make us who we are. They help us to learn valuable skills and life lessons all throughout our early childhood stages into adulthood. They help us to understand who we are as individuals, aiding us in defining our priorities in life. They make us laugh when we need it most, but also in the most inappropriate situations. They sometimes make us cry, but this teaches forgiveness and we learn how to move on and strengthen the bond. They’re someone to reach out to for help, and in turn we learn how to be there for someone other than ourselves. They are people we can trust to be a part of us. They give us a reality check when needed. They give us somewhere to go when everywhere else seems too much.

    Without friendship, we would suffer both mentally and physically. We would be lonely. Friends give us safety and happiness and companionship. I hope that everyone reading this has at least one good friend in their life, because you don’t just deserve it – you need it.