Pleasureful

Tag: motivation

  • Oh, I Just Manifested It!

    Oh, I Just Manifested It!

    I first came across the art of manifestation when I started listening to more podcasts and reading more ‘self-help’ books. However, there was one novel in particular that really pushed me over the edge when it comes to believing in myself and the universe, and that was ‘How to be a Badass’ by Jen Sincero. Let me tell you, I definitely learned how to be a bit more badass-y after finishing this book. Jen talks about letting the universe know what it is you want by speaking it into existence.

    If you want to manifest your dreams into reality, you can’t just want it to happen, you have to believe it’s going to happen. Let me give you an example…

    I went for an interview a few months ago for a job that I knew was exactly what I’d been looking for as a step in the right direction for my future career. I’d had no experience in the industry before, and I had only worked one other office job previously, which was my business administration apprenticeship. But I walked into that interview knowing I had the skills and personality that they were looking for to fill the role. I walked out of that first interview feeling good, giving no energy to worrying about the outcome.

    A little while after, I was invited back for a second interview along with two other candidates. Now, this second interview is what really made me realise ‘this is my job’. I had never had such a good feeling from an interview before, and there was no way I wasn’t going to be working for this company within the next few weeks. But instead of walking out and thinking ‘wow, I really hope I get that job, I’ll be so disappointed if I don’t get it, I think I did enough to impress them’, I changed my thinking into ‘I can’t wait to start this new job, I’m so excited for this new opportunity, that interview went perfectly’. Even if when my mum would say that she hoped I would get it, I responded with the belief that, actually, it was already mine.

    I’ve been working here for over a month now.

    I gave no energy to worrying about the possibility of it not happening, because in my mind that wasn’t a possibility. I made sure not to use any negative language that the universe could have taken to mean something else. When putting something out for the universe to hear, you need to be concise. For example, instead of manifesting ‘By this time next year my bank account will not be empty’, use a phrase more like ‘By this time next year my bank account will be full and healthy/will have X amount of money in it’. See, the universe will hear the word ‘empty’ and may misunderstand what it is you are wanting. Try not to give out mixed signals.

    So, how do you create your own manifesto? Picture where you want to be in the future. This could be in a years’ time or even 10 years from now, it’s up to you. The more specific you are the better. Let’s say you’re wanting to move out; Where are you living? Are you in a house or a flat? Are you renting or paying a mortgage? Do you live alone? With a partner? Roommates? Do you live close to work? Do you have a garden? Is there a pet running around inside? Are you friendly with your neighbours? What colour are the f**king walls?

    Write it all down and read it back often. Be excited that this is what you are working towards. This is your future that you are looking forward to.

    To give you some ideas, here’s a brief manifesto of my own:

    • By the end of next year (2021) I will have a distinction in my digital marketing course, have completed my apprenticeship and be working in a higher position marketing job, earning X amount of money per annum.
    • By the end of next year, I will be getting an average of 100 views per blog post on Currently Clueless. Thanks to my experience gained from my apprentice job, my WordPress skills will have vastly improved; I will apply these skills not only to my own site but for future job roles.
    • By the time I am 24 years old, I will be preparing to move out and purchase my own property to live in by myself.

    You get the idea. You might think I’m crazy or unrealistic, and that’s just fine. It’s not for everybody and trust me I know how hard it is to get into this sort of positive mindset. But just think, how’s the universe supposed to give you what you want if you don’t tell it? Speak up – the only risk is being heard.

  • Things I Like a Lot

    Things I Like a Lot

    I don’t often do these kinds of posts; once upon a time I did do a list of my favourite beauty products, which you can search for on my site, but since then I haven’t really shared much about things I enjoy in my day to day life. I love watching favourites videos on youtube and reading peoples masterlists on a blog post. It’s a great way to end up spending a bunch of money on stuff that strangers on the internet have recommended to you! But for real, I’ve found a lot of my favourite stuff this way, so why not share my own list with you guys in the hopes that I help at least one of you find a new favourite product! I’m going to go through everything from makeup and skincare to technology, lifestyle and books. Grab a hot drink and get comfy, because this may take a while.

    Beauty

    • Better Than Sex Mascara by Too Faced – The name says it all, because it’s kinda true. I’ve tried an array of different mascaras over the years from drugstore to high-end, such as Benefits Roller Lash and Climax by NARS, but I always come back to Better Than Sex. It gives me the perfect amount of volume and fantastic length. I love the shape of the wand and it never makes my lashes super clumpy. Its staying power is also insanely impressive – I can wear this all day long and my lashes will look just as great before I get ready for bed as they did that morning. Too Faced really slayed with this one.
    • Conceal and Define Concealer by Makeup Revolution – Revolution is by far my favourite drugstore makeup brand. Their range of products and shades is insane; they really have everything you could ever need and for the best prices too. The conceal and define concealer is lightweight, buildable and neither too matte nor oily. I use it for both concealer and to cut my crease when doing eyeshadow and it’s perfect for both. Pair it with the conceal and define foundation for the most perfect base!
    • Hoola Matte Powder Bronzer by Benefit Cosmetics – An OG bronzer that has stuck with me through and through. I can’t part with this product. It’s just the perfect shade for both contouring and giving myself a bit more colour after I’ve applied my foundation and concealer. Not to mention this stuff lasts me FOREVER, making it more than worth the price! I believe Benefit have also come out with lighter and darker shades to suit an even wider range of skin tones.

    Books

    • ‘Reasons to Stay Alive’ by Matt Haig – There’s not a single person on earth who has described depression as well for me as Matt Haig does in this book. He gives an account of what his day to day life was like suffering from a mental illness and how he overcame it to get to where he is today. He is inspiring, funny and real; Matt reminds us to find hope in the little joys that life gives us, letting those things give us the encouragement to push forward. I don’t only recommend this for those who have suffered from mental illness, but for those who wish to understand more about what it is like for those going through it. It will give you more understanding than a psychology textbook ever could.
    • ‘You Are a Badass’ by Jen Sincero – I really felt like I could do, have and achieve anything I wanted after reading this book. This is what made me really believe in the act of manifestation and letting the universe know exactly what your plans are. If you read any self-help book this year, make it this one. Jen shares her inspiring stories, gives advice based on what she has learnt and experienced and gives the reader exercises to help get us started on unleashing our inner badass. Want to learn how to stop holding yourself back and live a life you actually love? The first step is to read this book.
    • ‘This is Going to Hurt’ by Adam Kay – Possibly the funniest book I’ve ever read. Adam has documented his years working the medical field and it’s golden. If you’re fascinated by medical professionals and what they experience on a day to day basis like me, this is the book for you. If you just want to laugh, cry and say ‘what the f**k’ every 5 minutes, then this is also the book for you. Trust me. I know people always say ‘I never wanted it to end’ but I REALLY never wanted it to end.

    Hair/Body

    • Mario Badescu AHA Botanical Body Soap – Whilst I’ve never really struggled with acne on my face, I have been blessed with the joys of bacne for years now. It’s no longer as bad as it was in my early teen years, but I do still get small breakouts and have scarring on my back from the particularly aggressive spots. I’ve never found anything that really worked to help clear any of this up – until now. Since using this in the shower every day I can already see a difference in the skin on my back. Pair it with exfoliating gloves or a body brush for even better results!
    • Coconut Oil – Yeah, just coconut oil – the substance sent from the GODS. I use it to shave, moisturise and on damp hair to keep it hydrated. I couldn’t be without it. Buy a jar from your local supermarket and it’ll last you months – a way cheaper option than some fancy branded hair oil that’ll run out after one use.
    • Diva Professional Styling Universal Diffuser XXL Pro – A diffuser is basically just a scary looking hairdryer attachment that prevents curly hair from getting awfully frizzy when drying, by distributing the air more evenly (I think). I have tried and tested a number of different diffusers with my curls. Every time my hairdresser dries my hair, she always manages to get it perfectly big and bouncy, so I asked her what it was she was doing. She recommended this diffuser to me, which is the one she uses on my hair, and I immediately went online and bought it. I did have some trouble finding it in stock anywhere, but after some research I got it. And my god is it worth it. It’s extra big, so encases the majority of my hair and dries quickly. The even distribution of air stops my hair going frizzy and leaves me with a perfect, big body of curls.

    Clothes

    • Victoria’s Secret PINK T-Shirt Bra – I don’t really wear a bra unless I have to; I find most of them uncomfortable or they fit weirdly. Not this one. Probably the only ‘proper’ bra that I could wear on a day to day basis. It’s super soft, gives the perfect shape, great support and just fits amazingly on me. I honestly forget I’m wearing a bra with this one. Not to mention it won’t completely break the bank, as they always have a deal on where you can buy any 2 t-shirt bras for just £49.99. Considering that you’re getting a good quality bra, that’s a hell of a bargain!
    • Pretty Little Thing Mom Jeans in Mid Wash/Washed Black – Comfortable jeans that fit perfectly and don’t cost a whole sacrifice to the gods? Um, yes please! Firstly, it’s gotta be a mom jean for me. I just can’t hack wearing skinny jeans on a day to day basis like I used to – let my legs be free! Secondly, I used to spend a good £40 on a single pair of Topshop jeans but honestly I find my £25 PLT ones a whole lot better. They’re more flattering, fit better, softer and they haven’t shrunk in the wash or lost their colour AT ALL. Can I get a round of applause for these bad boys?
    • Gymshark Dreamy Leggings 2.0 – Usually I don’t like to spend too much money on my workout clothes, but this collection by Gymshark is worth it for me. The leggings fit like a glove, are the perfect thickness and you can just feel the amazing quality of the material. I have faith that these won’t split in the bum area, like my cheaper leggings often do after about a month or so of squats and lunges. They’re also high-waisted, sucking everything in and giving me confidence when I’m at the gym. I’d buy a pair in every one of their cute colours if I could, along with the matching Dreamy Sports Bra (also amazing).

    Technology/Lifestyle

    • Fitbit Charge 3 – My lovely dad ever so generously got me this as a gift when I started getting really into health and fitness. It’s really helped keep me motivated, and I literally never take it off (except to shower). One of my favourite features is the sleep tracker; download the free Fitbit app, connect it to your watch and it’ll analyse your sleep. It’s made me really see how irregular my sleeping can be, and as a result I’ve started getting into a better routine, which thanks to the Fitbit is easy to keep track of!
    • Calm app – I downloaded this app when I was having some real trouble getting to sleep at night. Sometimes my mind just won’t shut off, and it’s going 100mph when all I want to do is go to bed. So, I thought I would give sleep meditation a try. That’s when I got this app and it changed my sleeping game for good. It’s so good, I pay around £30 a year to have access to all the apps features. When I am really struggling to sleep, I’ll pop on a 15-minute-deep-sleep body scan to calm my brain. On a normal night, I listen to the relaxing sound of rain (on a window, if we’re getting into specifics) which I can set to play for an hour – perfect to help drown out any lingering thoughts threatening to keep me awake. I’m also a big fan of the guided meditations specifically aimed to tackle various problems such as anxiety and stress. An easy way to add a bit of Zen to your life.
    • Simple Modern Water Bottle (with straw lid) – You’ve probably seen the water bottles by the brand Hydroflask. You know, the one all the VSCO girls own? Well I wanted one – badly. Thing is, it’s an American brand and there’s no way I’m paying that much for a water bottle PLUS the shipping costs to the UK, so I started looking for an alternative and I came across this one on Amazon. It’s near enough identical to the Hydroflask and comes in an array of colours and sizes. It’s the best bottle I’ve ever had. The straw lid just automatically makes it better than any other water bottles out there. It keeps my water cold and fresh throughout the whole day; I swear water just tastes better when I’m drinking from this bottle. Plus, it sounds like I’m drawing a sword when I take it out of my bag.

    So, that was a lot and I don’t blame you if you only scrolled to read the sections that interest you most. But I love this kind of thing and always end up finding the best holy grail products through people sharing their favourites online; I hope that at least one person discovers their next best purchase through this list. Thanks for reading!

  • Unexpected Change and Letting Go

    No one is a big fan of change. I hear this all the time, but is it really true? I mean, we’re all trying to change things in our lives all the time. Maybe you’re trying to make a change to your weight, your financial status or your career path. These changes are the good ones, the ones we’re not afraid of, because they’re the ones we’re in control of (for the most part anyway). It’s the unwanted or unexpected changes that we really fear. That might be a break-up, falling out with a good friend or being made redundant from a job that you felt comfortable and happy in. Sometimes we’re so scared to accept change that we spend all of our precious energy trying to make it stop. We desperately try to cling on to the present, even if we know deep down that it’s doing more harm than good. Just because something once brought some form of positivity into your life, doesn’t mean that it will always be what’s best for you; it’s a hard pill to swallow. Letting go can be the most difficult thing, no matter how necessary it is to do so.

    The first step is to allow yourself to come to terms with the fact that things aren’t what they once were. Stop kidding yourself. Open your eyes and take a look around. Is your relationship/friendship with that person bringing you both happiness the same way that it used to? Is this job still providing you with valuable experience, or is it holding you back from making your next move? Is your current environment lifting you up or pulling you down? Answer those all important questions, admit to yourself that things aren’t working anymore, and you can now begin to make those much needed improvements to those areas of your life. You can’t put out a fire by pretending it isn’t there. It’s just going to get bigger. Then you’ll have the audacity to wonder how you burned to death or died of smoke inhalation. You know in the back of your mind what’s good for you, so instead of trying to drown those feelings out, listen to them. Otherwise you’re just going to drag things out for longer, which can make it a lot harder on yourself and others. You can’t stop the inevitable from happening, so make it a bit easier on yourself.

    If there is another person involved, address the problem with them and see if you can talk through it together. That might be a boss, partner, friend or family member. If the other person is being difficult or turning things into a confrontation, don’t engage in it any further. Things are already bringing you negativity, you don’t need any more of it. Them deciding to react that way also further confirms the truth that it’s time to walk away. Never be afraid to voice how you’re feeling, even if you think you might come across as silly or paranoid, or even ungrateful. You can’t help how you feel and there’s always a real reason behind those feelings. Don’t let anyone make you feel like those feelings are invalid. They’re not.

    You have to bite the bullet. Get it over and done with. Stop beating around the bush, or making excuses, or telling yourself ‘what if’. It’s like pouring alcohol onto a fresh wound – you know it’ll help but you’re still reluctant to do it and while it does sting like a bitch, it’s over before you know it and now you can heal. So, would you rather let things get worse before they get better? Or let yourself get an infection and end up having to chop off a limb? I know which path I’d rather take.

    After the letting go part is out of the way, don’t sit and think to yourself that your life is never going to recover from whatever it is you’ve had to say goodbye to. Be proactive in your ‘healing’. Start to get to know yourself all over again. Who are you without that person or aspect in your life? Figure out your needs and wants – they may have changed since the last time you really checked in on yourself. Date yourself. Find out what makes you happy, calm, motivated, even what makes you sad. Pay attention to all of this and use your findings to start manifesting what you want in your future. Do you want to make new friends? Great, then start thinking about where you’ll meet these friends, what type of people you want to start surrounding yourself with and why you want to be around them. Do you want start a new project or side hustle? Okay, make a game plan, gather resources, do your research and start creating new and healthy habits that are going to help you reach your goals. You’ve been given an opportunity here to grow, so make the most of it.

    Don’t hold on to the negativity. I know it’s easier said than done and it can even bring you some form of comfort, but trust me it’s not going to do you any good. Do you really want a bunch of grudges and regrets cluttering up your mind? We want to make space for a more positive mindset; you don’t have the capacity for both. Forgive yourself and others. Wish people well. The Universe can misinterpret what you’re putting out, and if what you’re putting out is all these bad thoughts and feelings about yourself or others, it’s not going to give you what you really want. You’re just going to get more crap.

    Change in our lives, whether it’s in the people, places or jobs we have, is never going to go away. Try and learn to accept it, maybe even welcome it. It can seem daunting, saddening or scary at the time, but everything really does happen for a reason and it will always work itself out. You’ll be left wondering why on earth you were acting like it was the end of the bloody world, when if it hadn’t of been for letting go of that part of your life, you would never have grown to be where you are now. So trust me when I say you can let go of whatevers not right in your life anymore, because you’re going to be just fine without it. All you need is youself; your wonderful, badass self.

  • All or Something

    I have recently started going back to therapy again. I have an hour long session every two weeks, and so far so good. I think therapy can be absolutely life changing for some people, and being able to talk to a professional about your thoughts, feelings and struggles, knowing that they are there to give no judgement and to just help you cope is such a reassuring thing to have.

    So, in yesterdays session I was talking about how I often put so much pressure on myself to be constantly busy doing things, being productive, working out or working on a new project. I’ll get these bursts of motivation and ambition in which I plan out my whole week down to the hour, with all these expectations in my head of all the things that I’m going to get done. Then, just as quickly as it came, that wave of determination comes crashing back down. I’ll look at the plan I set out for myself, all these things that I think I need to do to be a healthy and successful person, and instantly doubt myself. I start to look at it all in a more negative light. What if I don’t do well enough? What if I end up wasting my time, money and effort? Will this really get me where I want to be?

    I start asking myself all these questions, then when the time comes to get stuff done, I’m too tired and apprehensive to actually do what I set out to do. What’s the point in doing something if I don’t feel I’ll do it perfectly? Why would I start writing a blog post when I know I’ll lose the drive to finish it in one sitting? What’s the point in going to the gym when I only have the time and/or energy for a measly 30 minutes?

    It was then that my therapist said to me ‘Instead of this ‘all or nothing’, what if you told yourself ‘all or something’?’. I’ve never thought about it like that. I think we’re told throughout our whole lives, especially in school, that if we’re not doing our best we’re not trying hard enough. This then leads to the mentality of ‘well, might as well not try at all’. But this isn’t true. Something is always better than nothing, and sometimes can be more beneficial than giving it our all.

    Putting all this pressure and insane expectations on ourselves to work hard and be successful at what we do isn’t healthy; and stop looking at how hard others are working and what they’re doing, because comparing ourselves only makes things worse. It’s called ‘hustle culture’ – I call it toxic. It leads to burnout.

    Allow time for self love and self care. Give your mind and body rest if that is what they want. If you can’t give it your all, only something, don’t judge yourself for it. Give it what you can manage.

    Something is always better than nothing.

  • Why do we need friends?

    Friendship is one of the most important things in the world to me. In my opinion, it’s more important to have strong friendships than it is to have a romantic relationship with someone. Maybe that’s just me. But I’ve recently been thinking, why do we go about creating these bonds with seemingly random people who we are neither related to nor do we wish to reproduce with them?

    Well, it turns out that us humans aren’t the only animals on the planet who do this. Being around our friends releases all those sweet, sweet chemicals in our brain such as dopamine, serotonin and oxytocin – this is the same for other animal species as well as just us humans. What happens in our brains when we interact with other humans can actually extend our life expectancy and lower the risk of heart disease. The release of these chemicals also causes us to behave in a certain way, motivating us to do the things that are good for us, relieving our stress and making us want to be friendlier more often. In short, friends make us less of an arse – both to ourselves and others.

    Like with most things, I guess it started with evolution. We needed that bond with other members of the pack who weren’t our relatives because we needed that support from others when it came to confrontation, hunting etc. This translates into our modern day selves, as we often use our friends as a support system, although this is now more so for emotional needs rather than protection or to back you up in a fight; I guess it depends on what kind of nights out you have.

    Our friends, along with family and others we invite into our lives (and some who we might prefer to stay out), make us who we are. They help us to learn valuable skills and life lessons all throughout our early childhood stages into adulthood. They help us to understand who we are as individuals, aiding us in defining our priorities in life. They make us laugh when we need it most, but also in the most inappropriate situations. They sometimes make us cry, but this teaches forgiveness and we learn how to move on and strengthen the bond. They’re someone to reach out to for help, and in turn we learn how to be there for someone other than ourselves. They are people we can trust to be a part of us. They give us a reality check when needed. They give us somewhere to go when everywhere else seems too much.

    Without friendship, we would suffer both mentally and physically. We would be lonely. Friends give us safety and happiness and companionship. I hope that everyone reading this has at least one good friend in their life, because you don’t just deserve it – you need it.

  • Physical Effects of Mental Illness

    You might think that spreading awareness on mental health in today’s world is overdone.

    Aren’t we at a point now where everyone is suitably conscious of the issues surrounding mental health?

    It’s true, we’ve come a long way when it comes to acknowledging our mental health struggles and working out how we can help those who are suffering from mental illness, but we still have quite a way to go. There is still this damaging stigma around mental health, despite the fact it is something we all possess, just the same as we all have our physical health. The problem is that the two are still looked at as separate, but this is not the case. Mind and body can both have a drastic effect on each other. When one is unwell, the other feels it too. So buckle up, because we’re about to get factual.

    We can spot issues with mental health by looking for physical symptoms. These symptoms can include changes in a person’s sex drive, increase or loss of appetite, significant tiredness, low energy or problems falling asleep. Poor mental health can even lead to a weakened immune system, making it difficult for your body to fight off infections. Of course, the medication that is prescribed to treat mental illnesses can often have its own effect on our physical state. Symptoms as a result of taking medication can consist of lethargy, dehydration, nausea and flu-like symptoms.

    Multiple studies have made a connection between depression and diabetes, with one showing that people who have both conditions seem to display more severe symptoms than those who only have diabetes. Another revealed that an individual with both depression and diabetes is 85% more likely to have a heart attack, proving to us the importance of finding those most at risk to better monitor their cardiovascular health. More research is needed to fully understand how the two conditions are linked, but this is just one example of the harmful influence mental illness can have on our bodies.

    Anxiety is something that can have several different effects on our bodies. Physical symptoms include: fast breathing/hyperventilation, sweating, chest pain, shaking and a rapid heart rate. Anxiety affects our excretory and digestive systems, which can lead to nausea, diarrhea and loss of appetite. It is suspected that there is a link between anxiety disorders and IBS. Since anxiety often causes rapid and shallow breathing, it can make asthma symptoms worse.

    The King’s College London carried out a study (the biggest of its kind) in which they analysed data from over 3 million people living with severe mental illness. The research results showed that those with a mental illness such as schizophrenia, bipolar disorder or major depression put them at a 53% higher risk of having a cardiovascular disease opposed to those who did not suffer from a mental illness; the risk of dying from the disease was 85% higher than individuals of a similar age in the general population.

    Of course, this all works the other way around as well, as poor physical health can have a negative impact on us mentally and emotionally. Those living with chronic illnesses such as Cancer, Epilepsy, Alzheimer’s disease and HIV/AIDS have a higher risk of depression, as well as illness-related anxiety and stress. Psoriasis (a condition that causes red, flaky, crusty patches of skin covered with silvery scales that can be itchy or sore) is an auto-immune condition commonly triggered by stress and can greatly impact the emotional wellbeing of those who suffer from it. About 1 in 3 people with Psoriasis experience feelings of embarrassment about their condition, one third experience anxiety and depression and 1 in 10 admit to contemplating suicide. But get this – a recent report from the British Association of Dermatologists brought to attention that only 4% of Dermatology Units have access to a counsellor.

    We need to start recognizing that good mental health and physical health come as a package deal. I know that sometimes it can be hard to get out of bed in the mornings, and sometimes eating icing straight out of the tub seems like it will fix all your problems, but we all know how shit we feel afterwards (not saying you can’t treat yourself in moderation). In order to feel as good as you can, you need to take care of yourself in every way possible. This means taking part in regular physical activity – research shows that exercise releases those feel-good chemicals called endorphins into the brain. Having a good, balanced diet and staying hydrated is crucial in managing the way that we feel, as it can influence the development, management and prevention of numerous mental health conditions. Get a good night’s sleep – I don’t think to expand on how stressed and anxious us humans can get when we’re tired. Try and develop healthy habits, and steer clear of the bad ones. The habit of smoking not only has a negative impact on our physical health, but our mental health is also affected. Although the nicotine in cigarettes temporarily increases the levels of dopamine in our brains (the chemical which influences positive feelings), it switches off the brain’s natural mechanism for making the chemical. This makes us crave more nicotine to repeat this positive sensation again and again, resulting in addiction. So, maybe rethink picking up that cigarette packet. Those with depression are twice as likely to smoke than others, and people who suffer from schizophrenia are three times more likely.

    All of us, especially those working in healthcare settings, should be taking all factors of health into account when looking out for ourselves and others. If a patient is being treated for a physical injury or illness, their mental wellbeing should never be overlooked, and vice-versa.

    Mental illness is sickness of the brain.

    The brain is a part of our body.

    It all needs taking care of, so let’s start doing that.

  • Social Media: The Good, The Bad and The Unfiltered.

    I recently finished reading a book written by one of my favourite authors, Matt Haig. The book, titled ‘Notes on a Nervous Planet’, focuses on living life in the modern, digital world, and how we as humans are coping (or rather, trying to cope) with the changes that our endless advances within technology and society are making to our lives. Matt touches greatly on his own past experiences with mental health issues, and how the online world contributed to his struggles. The book got me thinking – and I mean really thinking – about the time that I take away from my own life to be more present in my life online. The hours I spend scrolling through Instagram, Facebook and Twitter, the time I spend with my friends trying to get that not-so-candid shot with the perfect lighting and the sleep I lose editing and uploading that picture, waiting in anticipation for the likes to start pouring in.

    Now, social media is not by any means the root of all evil. In fact, it can actually bring some Good into people’s lives. For instance, I know that plenty of people have met lifelong friends and even partners through the use of social media apps such as Instagram and Twitter, and dating apps and sites like Tinder. Yes, you should always be careful with people you meet online, and must never share out personal information such as your home address or bank details. That being said, not all internet meet ups end in people’s organs being sold on the black market after being brutally murdered. As well as giving us the chance to meet new people, social media allows us to stay in touch with everyone in our lives at all times, even if they are on the other side of the world. We can follow and engage easily with those who motivate and inspire us, use it as a platform to grow our brands and businesses, or even just to scroll through our Twitter feeds when we’re in need of a good laugh. Social media provides a kind of escapism. We can so easily forget about the world around us, and delve into the digital universe filled with tweets and memes and filters and likes and…

    The Bad stuff. Now, dare I say this outweighs the good? I guess that’s for us as individuals to decide for ourselves. I think each one of us has our own limit when it comes to all things social, and that includes digital. The thing with social media is that it isn’t really true to it’s name. We interact with people online all the time, yes, but with this has come less and less real life communication. Why travel to someones house to spend time with them when you can pick up your phone and Snapchat them right there and then? Something I personally find very difficult and anxiety inducing with messaging someone is that it inhibits me from being able to read their facial expressions, listen to their tone of voice or analyse their body language. This often results in me convincing myself that a friend is angry or upset with me, when in reality I have just read their message completely wrong and overthought every tiny detail. It all just leads to one big misunderstanding. Social media gives us the ability to talk to whoever whenever we please, post whatever we desire and to share each detail of our lives with the world. Not only is this an unhealthy habit that the majority of us have had at some point in our lives, (I mean c’mon, did you really need to send that tweet about how bad your date went last night, informing perhaps hundreds of people who probably do not care?), but it is starting to take away from the limited time we have to enjoy real life memories and experiences. But if you didn’t post it on the ‘gram, did it really happen?

    That brings me to the Unfiltered. Ah, the internet. A wondrous place made even better with the use of photoshop and VSCO. We’re all guilty of spending hours of our lives scrolling through pictures of celebrities and influencers sporting skimpy swimwear, showing off their socially acceptable beach bods whilst enjoying a dream vacation paid for by their most recent brand deal. We’ve all said, or at least thought to ourselves, ‘I wish that was me’. You’ve probably even thought that after seeing ‘regular’ people’s posts. Maybe that girl you knew from school is always posting about having the most perfect boyfriend, or that guy from work is constantly uploading post-workout pictures to his story, making you feel like a bum for opting to eat a pizza rather than hit the gym. What we seem to fail to remember is that everyone chooses the best bits of their life to post online. That girl from school has a great boyfriend, but she’s currently watching her parents go through a difficult divorce. That guy from work has got the six-pack you’ve always wanted, but he’s recently been diagnosed with clinical depression. We can’t always control our lives, but we can control how they appear to others online. We can filter them. Edit them. Maybe make our stomachs a little flatter and our smiles a little wider.

    I am not saying by any means that if you want to post a vacation bikini picture, you should not do so. In fact, that’s the opposite of the point I am trying to get across. Post what you want to post, whether that’s a sunny photo of you on the Caribbean cruise you went on or a Twitter thread featuring each individual house plant you own. Your social media accounts are your own little corner of the internet for you to enjoy, so don’t feel the pressure or need prove to everyone that your life is as perfect and Instagram-able as the Kardashian’s. Because let’s face it, even Kylie Jenner has her off-days.

    I know it’s hard, it’s something I am still working on myself, but life was not intended to be lived through a screen. So try to remember every now and then to put down the phone, look away from the computer and put the tablet away. Go for a walk, get coffee with a friend or spend time with your family. We’ve only got a limited amount of time on this Earth; that tweet can wait.

    Thanks for reading!

    – S x

  • Hello, 2019

    So, I have kind of abandoned blogging and my general love for writing during the last few months. I’m not entirely sure why, I guess I just haven’t had time and it hasn’t been a priority. Thing is, I love writing and creating posts for people to read and enjoy online, even only a handful of people are actually reading them. So I am determined to let my love of writing back into my life, and that starts with taking better care of this here blog.

    I thought what better post to upload to mark the start of a new year (and more consistent blogging) than explaining to you what my goals are for 2019. I’m not usually one to jump on the resolution band wagon. I mean, how many people actually manage to complete their new years resolutions by the end of the year? Maybe I’m being pessimistic, but I always seem to see people setting unrealistic goals and expectations for themselves in the upcoming year, then getting fed up with them and forgetting about them or dropping them only a month or two down the line.

    But I needed some motivation for this year. So I’ve created a list of goals (realistic ones at that) which I would love to achieve by the end of 2019. I am yet to have that one great year in my life, and I would really love for this one to be it. So, without further ado, these are my top goals for 2019…

    1. Travel somewhere new 
    • A weekend away in Amsterdam has been on my bucket list for-freaking-ever and I am going to get on that plane and visit that city this year if it kills me.
    • In terms of a sunny beach holiday, I am really loving the look of Croatia. I’ve never been and I just think it looks absolutely stunning for a relaxing week or two in the sun sipping cocktails.

          2. Read more 

    • Ever since I was younger I have had a huge love for books, but recently I just haven’t made the time to read. I am determined to make time to read more, both fiction and non-fiction. 

          3. Write more 

    • As explained at the beginning of the post, I would love to focus more on blogging and getting my writing out into the world this way. 
    • Ever since I was little I have had a passion for creative writing. I find it very therapeutic. I may even try and see if I can enter some creative writing competitions online.
    • In order to earn a bit of money on the side of my current job, I am going to look into doing some freelance writing jobs online, such as writing blog posts for other people etc. 

          4. Get down to my goal weight 

    • Something that I started doing mid-2018 was losing some weight that I have gained gradually over the past year. I managed to get myself into a really good gym routine and started eating the right foods and I felt so much better because of it. So far I have lost a stone, but there’s still some more weight I would love to lose to get down to my ideal weight. 

          5. Complete my apprenticeship 

    • In case you didn’t know, I am currently working for a company doing a level 3 business administration apprenticeship. I have gained a lot of experience doing my job, and I would love to have the course finished and passed by the end of March 2019.

          6. Get a new job

    • While I do enjoy the work I do now, once my apprenticeship is over I would love to find a job that includes me being able to be a bit more creative, such as marketing.

           7. Save more money 

    • This one I know for sure is going to be rough. I really need to start restricting my bad habits such as online shopping and eating out. 

           8. Get a new skill/hobby/interest

    • This one is a bit random, but I just wish there was something I was very knowledgeable on or skilled at. I would love to build more on my makeup skills and teach myself how to do more complicated looks. I have also been thinking about starting a new fitness class such as pole fitness or boxing. I’m honestly not sure. I think I’ll just have to try some things out and see what I like. 

    So that’s it. Not very exciting I know, but I think I’m okay with having a not too exciting year. I hope this year brings all of us health, love and happiness. Happy New Year loves.

    – S x

  • Ten Things Making Me Happy Right Now

    I guess it’s easier to think about all the bad things in life and what isn’t going the way you want it to. I think that it’s human nature for us to automatically focus on the not so positive things in life – even though we know that the more we think about them the more down we’re going to be. Lately, I’ve been trying to be more positive when it comes to every day life, trying to think about all the good things and what’s going right for me at the moment. So, I’m going to share with you a brief list of ten things that are making me happy right now.

    1. Friends
    2. Dogs (mine and other peoples)
    3. Writing (whether it’s blogging or in my own private notebooks)
    4. The weather (despite being a bit too hot in bed at night and in the office, and the dreaded hay-fever, I do actually enjoy the sunshine)
    5. Food (gotta love it)
    6. Family (especially my Mum, she’s not just an amazing Mum but a great laugh)
    7. Work (although it exhausts me and I do my fair share of complaining, I’d be bored and lost without a full time job)
    8. My new short hair
    9. Books
    10. Busy (but fun) weekends

    So, there you go. Sorry for the short post, but I hope this list encourages anyone reading this to think about ten things that are making them happy right now. Even if you can’t think of ten, even having that one thing that brings positivity into your life is so important, and you should focus on that as much as you can. Thanks for reading!

    – S x