Pleasureful

Tag: jobs

  • Oh, I Just Manifested It!

    Oh, I Just Manifested It!

    I first came across the art of manifestation when I started listening to more podcasts and reading more ‘self-help’ books. However, there was one novel in particular that really pushed me over the edge when it comes to believing in myself and the universe, and that was ‘How to be a Badass’ by Jen Sincero. Let me tell you, I definitely learned how to be a bit more badass-y after finishing this book. Jen talks about letting the universe know what it is you want by speaking it into existence.

    If you want to manifest your dreams into reality, you can’t just want it to happen, you have to believe it’s going to happen. Let me give you an example…

    I went for an interview a few months ago for a job that I knew was exactly what I’d been looking for as a step in the right direction for my future career. I’d had no experience in the industry before, and I had only worked one other office job previously, which was my business administration apprenticeship. But I walked into that interview knowing I had the skills and personality that they were looking for to fill the role. I walked out of that first interview feeling good, giving no energy to worrying about the outcome.

    A little while after, I was invited back for a second interview along with two other candidates. Now, this second interview is what really made me realise ‘this is my job’. I had never had such a good feeling from an interview before, and there was no way I wasn’t going to be working for this company within the next few weeks. But instead of walking out and thinking ‘wow, I really hope I get that job, I’ll be so disappointed if I don’t get it, I think I did enough to impress them’, I changed my thinking into ‘I can’t wait to start this new job, I’m so excited for this new opportunity, that interview went perfectly’. Even if when my mum would say that she hoped I would get it, I responded with the belief that, actually, it was already mine.

    I’ve been working here for over a month now.

    I gave no energy to worrying about the possibility of it not happening, because in my mind that wasn’t a possibility. I made sure not to use any negative language that the universe could have taken to mean something else. When putting something out for the universe to hear, you need to be concise. For example, instead of manifesting ‘By this time next year my bank account will not be empty’, use a phrase more like ‘By this time next year my bank account will be full and healthy/will have X amount of money in it’. See, the universe will hear the word ‘empty’ and may misunderstand what it is you are wanting. Try not to give out mixed signals.

    So, how do you create your own manifesto? Picture where you want to be in the future. This could be in a years’ time or even 10 years from now, it’s up to you. The more specific you are the better. Let’s say you’re wanting to move out; Where are you living? Are you in a house or a flat? Are you renting or paying a mortgage? Do you live alone? With a partner? Roommates? Do you live close to work? Do you have a garden? Is there a pet running around inside? Are you friendly with your neighbours? What colour are the f**king walls?

    Write it all down and read it back often. Be excited that this is what you are working towards. This is your future that you are looking forward to.

    To give you some ideas, here’s a brief manifesto of my own:

    • By the end of next year (2021) I will have a distinction in my digital marketing course, have completed my apprenticeship and be working in a higher position marketing job, earning X amount of money per annum.
    • By the end of next year, I will be getting an average of 100 views per blog post on Currently Clueless. Thanks to my experience gained from my apprentice job, my WordPress skills will have vastly improved; I will apply these skills not only to my own site but for future job roles.
    • By the time I am 24 years old, I will be preparing to move out and purchase my own property to live in by myself.

    You get the idea. You might think I’m crazy or unrealistic, and that’s just fine. It’s not for everybody and trust me I know how hard it is to get into this sort of positive mindset. But just think, how’s the universe supposed to give you what you want if you don’t tell it? Speak up – the only risk is being heard.

  • Unexpected Change and Letting Go

    No one is a big fan of change. I hear this all the time, but is it really true? I mean, we’re all trying to change things in our lives all the time. Maybe you’re trying to make a change to your weight, your financial status or your career path. These changes are the good ones, the ones we’re not afraid of, because they’re the ones we’re in control of (for the most part anyway). It’s the unwanted or unexpected changes that we really fear. That might be a break-up, falling out with a good friend or being made redundant from a job that you felt comfortable and happy in. Sometimes we’re so scared to accept change that we spend all of our precious energy trying to make it stop. We desperately try to cling on to the present, even if we know deep down that it’s doing more harm than good. Just because something once brought some form of positivity into your life, doesn’t mean that it will always be what’s best for you; it’s a hard pill to swallow. Letting go can be the most difficult thing, no matter how necessary it is to do so.

    The first step is to allow yourself to come to terms with the fact that things aren’t what they once were. Stop kidding yourself. Open your eyes and take a look around. Is your relationship/friendship with that person bringing you both happiness the same way that it used to? Is this job still providing you with valuable experience, or is it holding you back from making your next move? Is your current environment lifting you up or pulling you down? Answer those all important questions, admit to yourself that things aren’t working anymore, and you can now begin to make those much needed improvements to those areas of your life. You can’t put out a fire by pretending it isn’t there. It’s just going to get bigger. Then you’ll have the audacity to wonder how you burned to death or died of smoke inhalation. You know in the back of your mind what’s good for you, so instead of trying to drown those feelings out, listen to them. Otherwise you’re just going to drag things out for longer, which can make it a lot harder on yourself and others. You can’t stop the inevitable from happening, so make it a bit easier on yourself.

    If there is another person involved, address the problem with them and see if you can talk through it together. That might be a boss, partner, friend or family member. If the other person is being difficult or turning things into a confrontation, don’t engage in it any further. Things are already bringing you negativity, you don’t need any more of it. Them deciding to react that way also further confirms the truth that it’s time to walk away. Never be afraid to voice how you’re feeling, even if you think you might come across as silly or paranoid, or even ungrateful. You can’t help how you feel and there’s always a real reason behind those feelings. Don’t let anyone make you feel like those feelings are invalid. They’re not.

    You have to bite the bullet. Get it over and done with. Stop beating around the bush, or making excuses, or telling yourself ‘what if’. It’s like pouring alcohol onto a fresh wound – you know it’ll help but you’re still reluctant to do it and while it does sting like a bitch, it’s over before you know it and now you can heal. So, would you rather let things get worse before they get better? Or let yourself get an infection and end up having to chop off a limb? I know which path I’d rather take.

    After the letting go part is out of the way, don’t sit and think to yourself that your life is never going to recover from whatever it is you’ve had to say goodbye to. Be proactive in your ‘healing’. Start to get to know yourself all over again. Who are you without that person or aspect in your life? Figure out your needs and wants – they may have changed since the last time you really checked in on yourself. Date yourself. Find out what makes you happy, calm, motivated, even what makes you sad. Pay attention to all of this and use your findings to start manifesting what you want in your future. Do you want to make new friends? Great, then start thinking about where you’ll meet these friends, what type of people you want to start surrounding yourself with and why you want to be around them. Do you want start a new project or side hustle? Okay, make a game plan, gather resources, do your research and start creating new and healthy habits that are going to help you reach your goals. You’ve been given an opportunity here to grow, so make the most of it.

    Don’t hold on to the negativity. I know it’s easier said than done and it can even bring you some form of comfort, but trust me it’s not going to do you any good. Do you really want a bunch of grudges and regrets cluttering up your mind? We want to make space for a more positive mindset; you don’t have the capacity for both. Forgive yourself and others. Wish people well. The Universe can misinterpret what you’re putting out, and if what you’re putting out is all these bad thoughts and feelings about yourself or others, it’s not going to give you what you really want. You’re just going to get more crap.

    Change in our lives, whether it’s in the people, places or jobs we have, is never going to go away. Try and learn to accept it, maybe even welcome it. It can seem daunting, saddening or scary at the time, but everything really does happen for a reason and it will always work itself out. You’ll be left wondering why on earth you were acting like it was the end of the bloody world, when if it hadn’t of been for letting go of that part of your life, you would never have grown to be where you are now. So trust me when I say you can let go of whatevers not right in your life anymore, because you’re going to be just fine without it. All you need is youself; your wonderful, badass self.

  • Social Media: The Good, The Bad and The Unfiltered.

    I recently finished reading a book written by one of my favourite authors, Matt Haig. The book, titled ‘Notes on a Nervous Planet’, focuses on living life in the modern, digital world, and how we as humans are coping (or rather, trying to cope) with the changes that our endless advances within technology and society are making to our lives. Matt touches greatly on his own past experiences with mental health issues, and how the online world contributed to his struggles. The book got me thinking – and I mean really thinking – about the time that I take away from my own life to be more present in my life online. The hours I spend scrolling through Instagram, Facebook and Twitter, the time I spend with my friends trying to get that not-so-candid shot with the perfect lighting and the sleep I lose editing and uploading that picture, waiting in anticipation for the likes to start pouring in.

    Now, social media is not by any means the root of all evil. In fact, it can actually bring some Good into people’s lives. For instance, I know that plenty of people have met lifelong friends and even partners through the use of social media apps such as Instagram and Twitter, and dating apps and sites like Tinder. Yes, you should always be careful with people you meet online, and must never share out personal information such as your home address or bank details. That being said, not all internet meet ups end in people’s organs being sold on the black market after being brutally murdered. As well as giving us the chance to meet new people, social media allows us to stay in touch with everyone in our lives at all times, even if they are on the other side of the world. We can follow and engage easily with those who motivate and inspire us, use it as a platform to grow our brands and businesses, or even just to scroll through our Twitter feeds when we’re in need of a good laugh. Social media provides a kind of escapism. We can so easily forget about the world around us, and delve into the digital universe filled with tweets and memes and filters and likes and…

    The Bad stuff. Now, dare I say this outweighs the good? I guess that’s for us as individuals to decide for ourselves. I think each one of us has our own limit when it comes to all things social, and that includes digital. The thing with social media is that it isn’t really true to it’s name. We interact with people online all the time, yes, but with this has come less and less real life communication. Why travel to someones house to spend time with them when you can pick up your phone and Snapchat them right there and then? Something I personally find very difficult and anxiety inducing with messaging someone is that it inhibits me from being able to read their facial expressions, listen to their tone of voice or analyse their body language. This often results in me convincing myself that a friend is angry or upset with me, when in reality I have just read their message completely wrong and overthought every tiny detail. It all just leads to one big misunderstanding. Social media gives us the ability to talk to whoever whenever we please, post whatever we desire and to share each detail of our lives with the world. Not only is this an unhealthy habit that the majority of us have had at some point in our lives, (I mean c’mon, did you really need to send that tweet about how bad your date went last night, informing perhaps hundreds of people who probably do not care?), but it is starting to take away from the limited time we have to enjoy real life memories and experiences. But if you didn’t post it on the ‘gram, did it really happen?

    That brings me to the Unfiltered. Ah, the internet. A wondrous place made even better with the use of photoshop and VSCO. We’re all guilty of spending hours of our lives scrolling through pictures of celebrities and influencers sporting skimpy swimwear, showing off their socially acceptable beach bods whilst enjoying a dream vacation paid for by their most recent brand deal. We’ve all said, or at least thought to ourselves, ‘I wish that was me’. You’ve probably even thought that after seeing ‘regular’ people’s posts. Maybe that girl you knew from school is always posting about having the most perfect boyfriend, or that guy from work is constantly uploading post-workout pictures to his story, making you feel like a bum for opting to eat a pizza rather than hit the gym. What we seem to fail to remember is that everyone chooses the best bits of their life to post online. That girl from school has a great boyfriend, but she’s currently watching her parents go through a difficult divorce. That guy from work has got the six-pack you’ve always wanted, but he’s recently been diagnosed with clinical depression. We can’t always control our lives, but we can control how they appear to others online. We can filter them. Edit them. Maybe make our stomachs a little flatter and our smiles a little wider.

    I am not saying by any means that if you want to post a vacation bikini picture, you should not do so. In fact, that’s the opposite of the point I am trying to get across. Post what you want to post, whether that’s a sunny photo of you on the Caribbean cruise you went on or a Twitter thread featuring each individual house plant you own. Your social media accounts are your own little corner of the internet for you to enjoy, so don’t feel the pressure or need prove to everyone that your life is as perfect and Instagram-able as the Kardashian’s. Because let’s face it, even Kylie Jenner has her off-days.

    I know it’s hard, it’s something I am still working on myself, but life was not intended to be lived through a screen. So try to remember every now and then to put down the phone, look away from the computer and put the tablet away. Go for a walk, get coffee with a friend or spend time with your family. We’ve only got a limited amount of time on this Earth; that tweet can wait.

    Thanks for reading!

    – S x

  • Hello, 2019

    So, I have kind of abandoned blogging and my general love for writing during the last few months. I’m not entirely sure why, I guess I just haven’t had time and it hasn’t been a priority. Thing is, I love writing and creating posts for people to read and enjoy online, even only a handful of people are actually reading them. So I am determined to let my love of writing back into my life, and that starts with taking better care of this here blog.

    I thought what better post to upload to mark the start of a new year (and more consistent blogging) than explaining to you what my goals are for 2019. I’m not usually one to jump on the resolution band wagon. I mean, how many people actually manage to complete their new years resolutions by the end of the year? Maybe I’m being pessimistic, but I always seem to see people setting unrealistic goals and expectations for themselves in the upcoming year, then getting fed up with them and forgetting about them or dropping them only a month or two down the line.

    But I needed some motivation for this year. So I’ve created a list of goals (realistic ones at that) which I would love to achieve by the end of 2019. I am yet to have that one great year in my life, and I would really love for this one to be it. So, without further ado, these are my top goals for 2019…

    1. Travel somewhere new 
    • A weekend away in Amsterdam has been on my bucket list for-freaking-ever and I am going to get on that plane and visit that city this year if it kills me.
    • In terms of a sunny beach holiday, I am really loving the look of Croatia. I’ve never been and I just think it looks absolutely stunning for a relaxing week or two in the sun sipping cocktails.

          2. Read more 

    • Ever since I was younger I have had a huge love for books, but recently I just haven’t made the time to read. I am determined to make time to read more, both fiction and non-fiction. 

          3. Write more 

    • As explained at the beginning of the post, I would love to focus more on blogging and getting my writing out into the world this way. 
    • Ever since I was little I have had a passion for creative writing. I find it very therapeutic. I may even try and see if I can enter some creative writing competitions online.
    • In order to earn a bit of money on the side of my current job, I am going to look into doing some freelance writing jobs online, such as writing blog posts for other people etc. 

          4. Get down to my goal weight 

    • Something that I started doing mid-2018 was losing some weight that I have gained gradually over the past year. I managed to get myself into a really good gym routine and started eating the right foods and I felt so much better because of it. So far I have lost a stone, but there’s still some more weight I would love to lose to get down to my ideal weight. 

          5. Complete my apprenticeship 

    • In case you didn’t know, I am currently working for a company doing a level 3 business administration apprenticeship. I have gained a lot of experience doing my job, and I would love to have the course finished and passed by the end of March 2019.

          6. Get a new job

    • While I do enjoy the work I do now, once my apprenticeship is over I would love to find a job that includes me being able to be a bit more creative, such as marketing.

           7. Save more money 

    • This one I know for sure is going to be rough. I really need to start restricting my bad habits such as online shopping and eating out. 

           8. Get a new skill/hobby/interest

    • This one is a bit random, but I just wish there was something I was very knowledgeable on or skilled at. I would love to build more on my makeup skills and teach myself how to do more complicated looks. I have also been thinking about starting a new fitness class such as pole fitness or boxing. I’m honestly not sure. I think I’ll just have to try some things out and see what I like. 

    So that’s it. Not very exciting I know, but I think I’m okay with having a not too exciting year. I hope this year brings all of us health, love and happiness. Happy New Year loves.

    – S x

  • Three Things I Learnt From Being a Waitress

    I got my first job the summer after I had finished my GCSE’s. The role was waitressing at a family run cafe in a busy town centre. I was working mainly just Saturdays on a measly £4.50 an hour wage (so earning roughly £30 a week including tips). Despite being absolutely terrified when I started, as everyone is when starting their first job, I ended up loving it. I worked with some amazing (and admittedly not so amazing) people, got trained to make fancy coffees and by the end of my time working there I was probably one of the best workers there and I expect they kinda fell apart when I left for more hours and way better money working in the dairy section at my local Tesco (worst job ever but the dough was worth it, well, sort of). I worked at this cafe for around 18 months, and let me tell you I learnt a lot of things. Whether the knowledge I gained is useful for jobs I may have in the future, I don’t know, however it may be useful to whoever’s reading this post. Maybe you’re just starting out doing restaurant work and want to know what to expect, or maybe you are already or have previously worked in this environment and just want to laugh and relate to the ups and downs of life as a server. Either way, here is a list of things I learnt from being a waitress, enjoy.

    1. Middle-aged people are rude as ****. You’ve probably heard this one a lot from people who have worked as servers or in any kind of customer service role. I myself still cannot figure out why this is a thing, but trust me, it’s truer than Kylie Jenner’s pregnancy rumors. The kindest age groups are either your lovely little OAPs or young people ranging from about 14-30 years of age. These people were usually the nicest to me when I was a waitress; they would always be understanding if it was busy and things were maybe taking a little longer than usual, would not bite my head off if I or one of the kitchen staff had made a mistake and would always thank me and be polite. Middle-agers on the other hand… well. Lets just say if there is the slightest mistake with their order, or if something takes longer than they expected it to (because god forbid if something takes more than 15 minutes), they will not be happy. More often than not, they demand to talk to the manager and they think they are entitled to free food just because the plate wasn’t warm enough for them. Seriously?
    2. There is no job harder than being a server (except maybe retail/shop work). By this I mean that the job is both mentally and physically exhausting. Being on your feet rushing around for 8 hours (plus side of this being I lost a good amount of weight), making up drinks, taking payments, dealing with rude and difficult customers and getting wrinkly fingers from standing in the same spot cleaning dishes for over an hour with only a short 20 minute break really takes it out of you. May I also add that there would be times that I went without a break for the entire shift due to the cafe being too busy. In order to get a break at all, I had to work more than 6 hours. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t even get 10 minutes (I was 16!). Don’t get me wrong, I have respect for those who can sit in an office for hours and hours doing some kind of work involving big numbers that I’m sure would make my brain implode, however do not sit there at your fancy desk in your big leather chair and tell me that I am being dramatic. Servers deserve so much more respect than they get, trust me. I know not all restaurants and cafes are like this; many business’s do their best to look after their employees, making sure they have regular breaks and are not being pushed too hard. This is my own personal experience of waitressing.
    3.  You have way too many creepy encounters, especially if you are a young girl. For some reason, there’s something about being a waitress that makes people look at you as if you aren’t really a person. You’re there to keep the customers happy, fake laugh at their bad jokes, bring them food and clean up after them. Yes, I guess that technically is your job, however they do need to remember you are a real person, with real feelings and a life outside of your job. Not only did I encounter some very rude customers, but also some very creepy and even inappropriate ones. Not to be stereotypical, but these people were more often than not older men, 60 years+. Of course, it all depends on what kind of establishment you’re actually working in. In my case, the older men would often make comments that would make me feel extremely uncomfortable. For example, there was a time that I was working and an old man who was one of our regulars beckoned me over. I made my way to him and got out my pen and pad expecting him to order something. Instead, he pulled me closer to him by my wrist and proceeded to tell me that he ‘preferred my body to the other girls working, as they were all stick thin and I had some meat and curves on me’. Luckily, one of the other waitresses saw how uncomfortable I was and pretended she needed me to do something in order to get me away. This man acted this way to a lot of the other girls I worked with, however nothing was done about it as he was a regular and they didn’t want to lose out on any money. Charming, right?

    Overall, I enjoyed my time as a waitress. I could have had a far worse first job, however the role definitely isn’t for everyone. I hope this gave people some insight into what this job can be like, and if you relate to anything I’ve mentioned, comment what it was that you also experienced as a server, or maybe anything that I missed out. I don’t think I’ll be taking up another job as a waitress any time soon, my acrylic nails mean way too much to me. Thanks for reading!

    – S x