Pleasureful

Tag: change

  • Black Lives Matter: Current Situation and Black Mental Health

    Black Lives Matter: Current Situation and Black Mental Health

    I am sure we are all aware by now of the current situation the world is facing. The unjust murder of African-American citizen George Floyd by police officers in the US has sparked a state of civil unrest, leading to protests and riots taking place all over the world to push for change when it comes to the oppression and discriminatory treatment of black lives everywhere. The noise being made in support of the Black Lives Matter movement has never been louder, and should not quieten down until action has been taken by both US and UK governments to help put an end to racism-fuelled violence and abuse.

    I can understand that many allies of this movement may be unable to join in with the protests taking place outside for various reasons, but this is not the only way that you can take action. All of us have a part to play in eradicating racism from this world. There is so much more you can do than just sharing a blank, black square on social media. Take the two minutes to sign any petition you come across, donate to anti-racist organisations who are working to improve the lives of the black community, research and educate yourself and then others on both the past and present suffering people have gone through purely because of the colour of their skin. Call out racist friends, family members and strangers. That single post on Instagram is a feeble attempt at solidarity – you can do better. We can all do better.

    A great way you can help back the Black Lives Matter movement and incite change to help save and improve the lives of innocent people is writing to your MP. If enough of us get in contact to raise concern and request action to be taken on a situation, it will push them towards a parlimentary discussion. There is so much that the UK can do, both to help black Americans and our own black citizens. Our country must stop the exports of weapons used by the US to control riots and protests such as harmful rubber bullets and anti-crowd gas, as well as urge the government to condemn the Trump administration for the forceful treatment of protesters.

    We must remind those in positions of power that Britain is not innocent. Our own country experiences a disproportionate use of force by police against black people, as well as racial discrimination within UK housing and the bias against minorities in police stop and search. If you are unsure on who your MP is, or do not know their details for getting your letter or email across, you can find everything you need to know at this website: https://www.theyworkforyou.com/mps/

    Graphic by Mia Rae Smith – available to purchase in t-shirt form. All proceeds will be going towards anti-racism organisations. Order here now!

    One of the main topics that I discuss through my writing is mental health. I have always been a huge advocate for giving those who suffer with their mental wellbeing the help that they need and deserve. One thing that I have not ever fully educated myself on though, is black mental health. That is, until now.

    In the UK, black people are more likely than white people to be detained under the Mental Health act or encounter inpatient mental health services. Why is no one talking about this?

    Growing research suggests that those exposed to racism are more likely to suffer from illnesses such as depression and psychosis. The society that we are in, one that is dominated by white supremacy and privilege, has caused social and economic inequalities that cause the black community to be faced with so many unfair disadvantages – these disadvantages include higher rates of unemployement, unequal pay, high rates of poverty and homelessness. These are all risk factors that can lead to the development of mental health problems.

    There is concern over the unmet mental health needs of the BAME community in both the criminal and youth justice systems and that needs to change. It has been found that a BAME individual is less likely to have mental health problems diagnosed upon entry to the justice system compared to a white individual. These are facts that I am only just learning, and although I am glad I now know so that I can help spread awareness, I am angry – you should be too.

    The week after George Floyd’s murder was filled with so much noise backing the Black Lives Matter movement, but what concerns me is everyone going back to normal and letting this momentum die down. Do not stop tweeting. Do not stop donating, signing, writing, protesting, educating. Do not stop until change is made.

    Black lives will always matter.

    Resources

    Research:

    Mental Health Foundation

    Black Spaces by The Mental Health Foundation

    Young Minds

    Mind

    Charities:

    Black Thrive

    Black Minds Matter

    Stop Hate UK

    Stephen Lawrence Charitable Trust

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  • Oh, I Just Manifested It!

    Oh, I Just Manifested It!

    I first came across the art of manifestation when I started listening to more podcasts and reading more ‘self-help’ books. However, there was one novel in particular that really pushed me over the edge when it comes to believing in myself and the universe, and that was ‘How to be a Badass’ by Jen Sincero. Let me tell you, I definitely learned how to be a bit more badass-y after finishing this book. Jen talks about letting the universe know what it is you want by speaking it into existence.

    If you want to manifest your dreams into reality, you can’t just want it to happen, you have to believe it’s going to happen. Let me give you an example…

    I went for an interview a few months ago for a job that I knew was exactly what I’d been looking for as a step in the right direction for my future career. I’d had no experience in the industry before, and I had only worked one other office job previously, which was my business administration apprenticeship. But I walked into that interview knowing I had the skills and personality that they were looking for to fill the role. I walked out of that first interview feeling good, giving no energy to worrying about the outcome.

    A little while after, I was invited back for a second interview along with two other candidates. Now, this second interview is what really made me realise ‘this is my job’. I had never had such a good feeling from an interview before, and there was no way I wasn’t going to be working for this company within the next few weeks. But instead of walking out and thinking ‘wow, I really hope I get that job, I’ll be so disappointed if I don’t get it, I think I did enough to impress them’, I changed my thinking into ‘I can’t wait to start this new job, I’m so excited for this new opportunity, that interview went perfectly’. Even if when my mum would say that she hoped I would get it, I responded with the belief that, actually, it was already mine.

    I’ve been working here for over a month now.

    I gave no energy to worrying about the possibility of it not happening, because in my mind that wasn’t a possibility. I made sure not to use any negative language that the universe could have taken to mean something else. When putting something out for the universe to hear, you need to be concise. For example, instead of manifesting ‘By this time next year my bank account will not be empty’, use a phrase more like ‘By this time next year my bank account will be full and healthy/will have X amount of money in it’. See, the universe will hear the word ‘empty’ and may misunderstand what it is you are wanting. Try not to give out mixed signals.

    So, how do you create your own manifesto? Picture where you want to be in the future. This could be in a years’ time or even 10 years from now, it’s up to you. The more specific you are the better. Let’s say you’re wanting to move out; Where are you living? Are you in a house or a flat? Are you renting or paying a mortgage? Do you live alone? With a partner? Roommates? Do you live close to work? Do you have a garden? Is there a pet running around inside? Are you friendly with your neighbours? What colour are the f**king walls?

    Write it all down and read it back often. Be excited that this is what you are working towards. This is your future that you are looking forward to.

    To give you some ideas, here’s a brief manifesto of my own:

    • By the end of next year (2021) I will have a distinction in my digital marketing course, have completed my apprenticeship and be working in a higher position marketing job, earning X amount of money per annum.
    • By the end of next year, I will be getting an average of 100 views per blog post on Currently Clueless. Thanks to my experience gained from my apprentice job, my WordPress skills will have vastly improved; I will apply these skills not only to my own site but for future job roles.
    • By the time I am 24 years old, I will be preparing to move out and purchase my own property to live in by myself.

    You get the idea. You might think I’m crazy or unrealistic, and that’s just fine. It’s not for everybody and trust me I know how hard it is to get into this sort of positive mindset. But just think, how’s the universe supposed to give you what you want if you don’t tell it? Speak up – the only risk is being heard.

  • Finding Your Brave

    In case you were not aware, this week has been dubbed Children’s Mental Health Week by the charity known as Place2Be, a UK organization who have been working with students, families and staff to provide young people with support through one-to-one and group counselling in schools. The campaign’s website states that ‘around three children in every primary school class has a mental health problem, and many more struggle with challenges from bullying to bereavement’.

    The statistics don’t shock me in the slightest, as I remember having my own struggles with my mental wellbeing as early as around 9 years old. From a young age I suffered with issues surrounding body image. There were times that I really believed that I was insane because of some of the thoughts I had – I hated myself and I wasn’t even a teenager yet. I can’t imagine how many children now go through this same struggle to an even higher extent with social media being so prominent in our lives (sorry to sound your grandma, but you know it’s true). 

    We had no education in mental health. No one told me that my mind could get sick. I’m relieved that we are finally getting to a place where we can normalise talking about the struggles we may be facing mentally, encouraging children to feel more comfortable to speak up when they need help. 

    No child should feel like they must suffer in silence; keeping it to themselves will only ever lead to having to fix the damage that was done in their childhood when they are adults. No one wants to be paying £70 an hour to sit in a therapists office to figure out that the reason they have self-esteem issues because when they were 5 people would always refer to their best friend Jenny as the pretty one and them as the funny one. 

    Best to resolve those issues when they arise, rather than repressing them until you have that inevitable mental breakdown in your 20s, don’t you think?

    The theme that was chosen for this week is ‘Find your Brave’ – it’s all about encouraging young people (I mean let’s face it, us adults need some help in this area too) to feel comfortable in their own skin, own who they are and be confident with it. 

    But being brave does not mean having to cope with everything alone. Being brave means asking for help, talking about how you are feeling and the parts of life that are getting to you. Up until recently, the thought of having to really admit what was going on in my brain to others made me feel physically nauseous. But, at nearly 20 years old, I am so proud of myself for being at a point where I have normalised having these conversations and I’m not ashamed to admit that I’m not okay.

    Talking about mental health with my friends and family now comes as easily to me as talking about what I’m having for lunch. I wouldn’t be embarrassed of having a cold, so why should I be embarrassed to be in state of anxiety or depression? 

    I just hope that children today come to understand this a lot quicker than I did. But guess what? They won’t learn how to be brave and talk about their struggles unless we give them the support to do so. They won’t know that it’s okay unless we tell them that it is. Let the boys cry, tell the girls it’s okay to be angry if that’s what they feel!

    As adults, we all have a responsibility to make sure kids feel safe. Emotions can get confusing and scary for grown-ups, let alone for children. If you’re overwhelmed by whatever’s going on at home, how must your kid feel? Ask them, and then ask them again in a few days, and then check up again in a week.

    It’s not just about starting the conversation; it’s about keeping it going. 

    If you want to find out more about Children’s Mental Health Week and how you can get involved, visit the website https://www.childrensmentalhealthweek.org.uk/about-the-week/ for more information.

  • Unexpected Change and Letting Go

    No one is a big fan of change. I hear this all the time, but is it really true? I mean, we’re all trying to change things in our lives all the time. Maybe you’re trying to make a change to your weight, your financial status or your career path. These changes are the good ones, the ones we’re not afraid of, because they’re the ones we’re in control of (for the most part anyway). It’s the unwanted or unexpected changes that we really fear. That might be a break-up, falling out with a good friend or being made redundant from a job that you felt comfortable and happy in. Sometimes we’re so scared to accept change that we spend all of our precious energy trying to make it stop. We desperately try to cling on to the present, even if we know deep down that it’s doing more harm than good. Just because something once brought some form of positivity into your life, doesn’t mean that it will always be what’s best for you; it’s a hard pill to swallow. Letting go can be the most difficult thing, no matter how necessary it is to do so.

    The first step is to allow yourself to come to terms with the fact that things aren’t what they once were. Stop kidding yourself. Open your eyes and take a look around. Is your relationship/friendship with that person bringing you both happiness the same way that it used to? Is this job still providing you with valuable experience, or is it holding you back from making your next move? Is your current environment lifting you up or pulling you down? Answer those all important questions, admit to yourself that things aren’t working anymore, and you can now begin to make those much needed improvements to those areas of your life. You can’t put out a fire by pretending it isn’t there. It’s just going to get bigger. Then you’ll have the audacity to wonder how you burned to death or died of smoke inhalation. You know in the back of your mind what’s good for you, so instead of trying to drown those feelings out, listen to them. Otherwise you’re just going to drag things out for longer, which can make it a lot harder on yourself and others. You can’t stop the inevitable from happening, so make it a bit easier on yourself.

    If there is another person involved, address the problem with them and see if you can talk through it together. That might be a boss, partner, friend or family member. If the other person is being difficult or turning things into a confrontation, don’t engage in it any further. Things are already bringing you negativity, you don’t need any more of it. Them deciding to react that way also further confirms the truth that it’s time to walk away. Never be afraid to voice how you’re feeling, even if you think you might come across as silly or paranoid, or even ungrateful. You can’t help how you feel and there’s always a real reason behind those feelings. Don’t let anyone make you feel like those feelings are invalid. They’re not.

    You have to bite the bullet. Get it over and done with. Stop beating around the bush, or making excuses, or telling yourself ‘what if’. It’s like pouring alcohol onto a fresh wound – you know it’ll help but you’re still reluctant to do it and while it does sting like a bitch, it’s over before you know it and now you can heal. So, would you rather let things get worse before they get better? Or let yourself get an infection and end up having to chop off a limb? I know which path I’d rather take.

    After the letting go part is out of the way, don’t sit and think to yourself that your life is never going to recover from whatever it is you’ve had to say goodbye to. Be proactive in your ‘healing’. Start to get to know yourself all over again. Who are you without that person or aspect in your life? Figure out your needs and wants – they may have changed since the last time you really checked in on yourself. Date yourself. Find out what makes you happy, calm, motivated, even what makes you sad. Pay attention to all of this and use your findings to start manifesting what you want in your future. Do you want to make new friends? Great, then start thinking about where you’ll meet these friends, what type of people you want to start surrounding yourself with and why you want to be around them. Do you want start a new project or side hustle? Okay, make a game plan, gather resources, do your research and start creating new and healthy habits that are going to help you reach your goals. You’ve been given an opportunity here to grow, so make the most of it.

    Don’t hold on to the negativity. I know it’s easier said than done and it can even bring you some form of comfort, but trust me it’s not going to do you any good. Do you really want a bunch of grudges and regrets cluttering up your mind? We want to make space for a more positive mindset; you don’t have the capacity for both. Forgive yourself and others. Wish people well. The Universe can misinterpret what you’re putting out, and if what you’re putting out is all these bad thoughts and feelings about yourself or others, it’s not going to give you what you really want. You’re just going to get more crap.

    Change in our lives, whether it’s in the people, places or jobs we have, is never going to go away. Try and learn to accept it, maybe even welcome it. It can seem daunting, saddening or scary at the time, but everything really does happen for a reason and it will always work itself out. You’ll be left wondering why on earth you were acting like it was the end of the bloody world, when if it hadn’t of been for letting go of that part of your life, you would never have grown to be where you are now. So trust me when I say you can let go of whatevers not right in your life anymore, because you’re going to be just fine without it. All you need is youself; your wonderful, badass self.