Neurodiversity and Sex 

It’s no secret that I’m passionate about sex education, but let’s talk about accessible and inclusive sex education in particular for a moment. Taking disabilities into consideration within RSHE is incredibly important, but sometimes hidden disabilities can get brushed under the rug or forgotten about. Young people with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), or any other disability that comes under the neurodiversity umbrella often have different experiences and struggles with sexual development and health. So, let’s get into the ins and outs of neurodiversity and sex. 

Libido & Neurodiversity

It is a common misconception that if you are neurodivergent, specifically autistic, you lack sexual desire. There has been no evidence that supports this narrative, however, there are different barriers that an autistic person will encounter in intimate situations that a neurotypical person may not. It is because of these barriers that topics such as consent, setting boundaries and open communication are key areas that should be covered within RSE programmes that may help neurodivergent young people in their journeys to healthy sexual wellbeing.

Individuals with ADHD can often experience both hypersexuality (high sex drive) and hyposexuality (low sex drive). Those who experience hypersexuality (1) can engage in risky sexual behaviours such as unprotected sex, potentially problematic pornography use (2), or intimacy with strangers. Hypersexuality within young people with ADHD can be a way to self-regulate and cope with negative feelings that are brought on by their disability – sexual stimulation releases endorphins, mobilising the brain’s transmitters. People with ADHD have lower levels of these chemicals in the brain, which can encourage impulsivity and risky behaviours. All of this can lead young people to begin to explore sexuality, and develop hypersexuality, from early ages (3), leading to higher numbers of sexual partners and even earlier parenthood. 

Neurodiverse individuals may also experience hyposexuality – low sex drive or libido. People within this community can experience higher levels of anger and feelings of loneliness, which can affect their interest in sex. Sensory issues (4) are a common characteristic within neurodivergent people, meaning that sensations that can feel sexually pleasurable for neurotypicals can be overwhelming or uncomfortable for those who are ND. A low libido can also be a side effect of antidepressant medications, which are commonly used by this community. 

Neurodivergent Risks & Barriers

That brings us into the different risks and barriers that neurodivergent people face in intimate and sexual situations. Effective communication is key when engaging in any form of sexual contact with another consenting partner. However, communication isn’t something that always comes easily to those who are neurodivergent (5) – a lack of effective communication can be harmful and even dangerous within these situations, as it’s important that all those involved are able to express likes, dislikes, and be able to give and withdraw consent. 

Initiating intimacy, or even just trying to develop positive relationships, can prove more difficult for ND individuals because of struggling with understanding unwritten social rules, figurative language, and their straightforward communication style coming across as blunt or rude. Autistic people in particular may have trouble interpreting others’ emotions and nonverbal communication cues, starting and maintaining conversations, and recognising boundaries (6).

Staying attentive and ‘in the moment’ during sexual interactions can be difficult for those with ADHD (7) – inattentiveness, impulsivity, and hyperactivity are all ADHD characteristics that may cause issues with intimacy. These barriers can potentially lead to their partners feeling disconnected from them or left feeling undesired. As touched upon previously, impulsivity within those with ADHD can lead to risky sexual behaviours such as inconsistent contraceptive use, more impulsive and casual sex, and alcohol or substance use before sex. 

How Can RSE Help? 

For neurodivergent individuals who may begin exploring their sexuality from even younger ages than their neurotypical peers (3), having age appropriate but informative RSE lessons in schools from an early stage can help them to understand their bodies and desires, why they have certain feelings, and alleviate shame and confusion.

RSE should cover important topics, such as consent and relationships, that will give neurodivergent young people a better understanding of communication in intimate situations and relationships. Providing ND young people with these tools in their early life can give them more confidence that they will be able to navigate situations in the future, making them more comfortable for themselves and others involved. Teaching young people in-depth about the importance of safe sex and contraception may help to decrease impulsive, risky choices, which could have a great impact on their quality of life in the long term.

RSHE should be accessible for everyone, and we should strive to offer unrestrictive sex and relationships education that serves neurodiverse young people.